Maybe you’ve ambled by wholly preoccupied by the squeak of fresh cheese curds from the Farmers Market. Or perhaps the concert after party is heading for a juicy cheeseburger in The Paradise Lounge and you snicker strolling by. It is after all a type of mundane advertising that we all autonomously filter from our ever decreasing attention spans.
This underappreciated art piece should be preserved for future generations to enjoy. We live in a reality where that guy got elected again, prices for ($NameAnything) are going up, and you pay more taxes than Disney because they thought a live action Moana would make money. It is all but inevitable that an indifferent corporation will remove anything that brings joy to people that isn’t already monetized.
Some merely see a piece of white bread and two eggs. But others see it for what it is. A subtle work deserving of puerile admiration. There may be others like it out there, but this one belongs to Madison, Wisconsin. It is OUR Bread Dick.
Origins
The earliest Madison appearance of the Bread Dick in Google Maps is from 2016. Research into more a more precise origin date is ongoing.
The Bread Dick has been a staple of the Capitol Square in Madison, Wisconsin for over a decade.
Description
On its surface the Bread Dick looks like a mundane piece of corporate art. It is the last in a sequence of banal images advertising the presence of a national convenience store chain. The collection includes aloe leaves, a beauty model, a pharmacist, and lastly the bread and two eggs combination.
It is unknown if the bread and eggs were photographed together or composited later. The bread is white, soft, and ideally browned around the crust. The eggs appear to be uniformly brown. The arrangement undeniably resembles that of male tumescence in virile verticality.
Tours
Self-guided tours of the Bread Dick can be done at your convenience 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Photography is allowed as the sidewalk is a public space. The site is wheelchair accessible. Madison Metro BRT stations are within close proximity. For more information please see the Bread Dick Visitor Baking Guide.
Live tour content is currently in development.
3D Print
For those with multicolor 3D print capabilities the Bread Dick is available for download.
The package includes a Blender file and two STL files. You are free to print, modify, and distribute the Bread Dick to loved ones, enemies, Little Free Libraries, whatever.
Cult of the Eier
Because Madison is a godless communist coven festooned with degenerates, some have adopted the bread dick as a community totem of shared prosperity. The members, who refer to themselves by the German word for an egg, will often leave reverant offerings at its base. A general cult rule is to place items that can be readily consumed or recycled. This includes water, food items, and creative artworks.
The cult’s leadership structure is said to be largely decentralized. However, reports of a mysterious Bäcker (baker) have risen from credible sources.
Gallery
The Bread Dick is incredibly photogenic. This website is looking to create a documentary gallery of people who make the pilgrimage. Please see the submission form for more details.
The admin for this site can be reached at baker at bread dick dot com.
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